In life, the most rewarding and fulfilling pursuit is the mastery of a skill. This journey is not about being a jack of all trades but about focusing deeply on one discipline, gaining intimate knowledge, and working tirelessly at it.
As Jerry Seinfeld, one of my favourite comedians, once said,
“The only thing in life that’s really worth having is good skill. Good skill is the greatest possession. I know a lot of rich people, They don’t feel good, as you think they should and would. They’re miserable. Because, if they don’t master a skill, life is unfulfilling.”
Seinfeld’s reflection on the importance of skill mastery was influenced by an article published in Esquire Magazine decades ago. Here are my 5 takeaways from the article:
1. Guidance from the Masters
The first step on the path to mastery is finding the right instruction. This involves seeking out a mentor, teacher, or accountability partner who has deep knowledge of your chosen field. Their guidance and feedback are invaluable as you begin your journey. The article emphasized that “We learn fastest when we get responses.” This is very true; having someone experienced to provide insights and corrections helps accelerate our learning process.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Shri Krishna serves as a mentor to Arjun, guiding him through his doubts and fears on the battlefield. Having a mentor can help us navigate the complexities of our chosen discipline, providing clarity and direction when we need it most.
2. Sacrifice and Persistence: True Committment
Surrendering means acknowledging that where we are now is not where we want to be in the long run. Mastery requires sacrifice and a relentless pursuit of our new endeavor. There will be life tradeoffs, but this surrender is essential for growth. It’s about letting go of our current state to embrace the journey ahead, even if it means making significant sacrifices.
In the Ramayan, Shri Ram exemplifies surrender and dedication to his dharma (duty). Despite facing numerous challenges and sacrifices, he stays true to his path. This teaches us that to achieve mastery, we must be willing to make sacrifices and stay committed to our goals, duties and responsibilities.
3. The Repetition Revolution
It may sound obvious, but repetition or practice is crucial. Improving at anything requires actual, hands-on experience. By gaining relevant experience, learning from failures, and applying newfound knowledge, we can strategically get better. The key is to practice consistently and persistently, repeating till mastery.
The story of Ekalavya from the Mahabharat is a perfect example of Repetition. Despite being denied formal instruction and teaching from Dronacharya, Ekalavya practiced diligently, ultimately becoming an exceptional archer. His story highlights the power of dedication and practice in achieving mastery.
4. The Mental Game: Consistency and Resolve
Mastery demands not just physical practice but also mental discipline. It requires us to develop internal courage and the resolve to stay the course when adversity and setbacks inevitably arise. Consistency often matters more than intensity, and our ability to make gradual progress even on our bad days is paramount.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna advises Arjuna on the importance of a steady mind and unwavering focus. This wisdom applies to our pursuit of mastery as well. The ability to maintain mental discipline and stay committed, despite challenges, is crucial for long-term success.
5. Pushing Boundaries: The Art of Going Beyond
Esquire called this “a deliberate negotiation with your abilities. It is an exercise in controlled abandon.” In essence, it’s about pushing ourselves a little beyond what we think we are capable of, day after day. This constant effort to extend our limits helps us grow and evolve in our chosen field.
In the Mahabharat, Arjun continually pushed the boundaries of his abilities, whether it was mastering new weapons or strategizing in battle. This relentless pursuit of improvement and his willingness to play the edge contributed to his success as a warrior.
The Importance of Focus and Dedication
In today’s competitive world, distinguishing ourselves is rarely about becoming generalists who follow the masses. Instead, it’s about narrowing our focus, cultivating intimate knowledge, and working tirelessly at our craft, even when others might quit. Seinfeld’s advice to “pursue mastery” resonates deeply. It reminds us that true fulfillment comes from dedicating ourselves to a discipline and striving for excellence.
The teachings from ancient texts like the Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana, and Mahabharata reinforce this message. They illustrate the value of focus, dedication, and relentless pursuit of our goals. Whether it’s Shri Krishna guiding Arjun, Shri Ram staying true to his dharma, or Ekalavya’s unwavering practice, these stories inspire us to commit fully to our journey of mastery.
Walking the Road Towards Mastery: My Side
Reflecting on my journey, I realize how essential some of these principles are becoming part of my life. There have been countless times when I felt like giving up, when the road seemed too long and the obstacles too numerous. But each time, the wisdom of focusing on skill mastery and the scriptures teachings are helping me to stay the course.
These days when I am spending my efforts in learning a new skill, I seek guidance from mentors who had already walked the path via their videos or podcasts or books. Their insights and feedback have been invaluable, helping me avoid common pitfalls and accelerate my progress. This aligns well with the first principle of Guidance from Masters.
Surrendering to the process is another crucial step. I am acceptable to fact that I am not where I want to be, and that getting there would require sacrifices. I try to spend some time alone over weekends, giving up on social events, and sometimes feeling isolated. But the goals to do things keeps me going on, reminding me that these sacrifices I am making temporarily can turn into essentials for long-term success.
Practice is becoming a daily ritual. I try my best to get immersed in the activity, learning from each failure and celebrating small victories. This hands-on experience is crucial, as consistent effort leads to significant improvements over time.
Maintaining mental discipline is perhaps the toughest part. There are days when progress seems slow, and self-doubt creeps in. But I am learning to keep my focus on the bigger picture.
Finally, playing the edge pushes me beyond my comfort zone. I continually challenge myself to do a little more than I think is possible. This relentless pursuit of improvement mirrors the spirit of the warriors and sages in our ancient texts, who never settled for mediocrity.
The Journey Continues: Embracing Mastery
Mastery is not a destination but a continuous journey. It requires dedication, focus, and an unwavering commitment to growth. By following the principles of instruction, surrender, practice, mental discipline, and playing the edge, we can navigate this journey more effectively.
The wisdom from the scriptures, Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana, and Mahabharata provides timeless guidance, reminding us that true fulfilment comes from striving for excellence in our chosen field. As Seinfeld wisely said, “Pursue mastery. That will fulfill your life. You will feel good.”
Embracing these principles are not only helping me grow in my discipline but is also enriching my life in ways I never imagined. I hope that with these insights, you too will be inspired to pursue mastery in your own life. Always keep this one thing in mind, it’s not about being the best; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. And that journey is the most rewarding of all.
Life can be an unpredictable journey, filled with unexpected twists and turns. We often find ourselves unsure of the best path forward, leading to feelings of overwhelm and frustration. If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. In this blog post, I explored the challenges of navigating life’s uncertainties and shared insights from both my personal experience and an example of farmer. I’ve laid out the importance of accepting what is beyond our control, just like a farmer accepts the weather or pests, and focusing on what truly matters, such as continuous learning, fulfilling responsibilities, and letting go of expectations. By embracing farmer’s spirit of acceptance, dedication, and trust, we can equip ourselves to navigate life’s uncertainties with greater focus, clarity, and peace.
The Farmer Story
A farmer cannot control how much rain will fall or not fall. The farmer has no control over sunlight his crops will get. But still the farmer knows what matters most is that sowing a right crop at a right time. If he sows rice in the winter and wheat in the monsoon his crops are doomed to fail. So the farmer instead of focusing on thing he can’t control like a rain or sun, will work to the best of his ability and use the best knowledge he has right now to grow the best crop.
Accepting Life’s Unpredictability
The story beautifully captures the essence of challenge of focusing by using the analogy of a farmer. The farmer who meticulously prepares their land, sows the seeds, and nourishes the growing crops. They work tirelessly, dedicating their time and energy to ensuring a good harvest. However, despite their best efforts, the farmer cannot control the weather, the amount of sunlight their crops receive, or the presence of pests. These external factors significantly impact the outcome, reminding us that life isn’t always within our complete control.
Just like the farmer, we can strive to make good choices, invest our effort wisely, and plan strategically. However, unforeseen circumstances and external factors will inevitably play a role in shaping our experiences. Accepting this reality is crucial for maintaining mental clarity and navigating life’s uncertainties with greater ease.
Remembering my life from past, for a period in my life (2020-2022), I experienced significant growth across various aspects. During that time, I adopted a mindset of dedication and self-improvement without clinging to specific expectations. This approach allowed me to truly flourish, and I even received exciting career opportunities outside my current organization, also getting to know a lot about new friends and few old ones, growing miles in my career and guiding mangements in several initiatives.
When the Hardships Come: Accepting What We Can’t Control
However, as life itself often remind us, things can shift unexpectedly. Starting in 2023, I faced a series of challenges that left me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Conflicts arose at work, disagreements surfaced within my family, and even friendships seemed strained. My initial reaction was to fight back, to try and control and fix everything around me.
Just like the farmer who may encounter unexpected storms, draught or pests, I was trying to control the uncontrollable. But instead of resolving the issues, my efforts only seemed to make them worse. The more I pushed, the more overwhelmed and frustrated I felt.
It was at this point that I realized a crucial truth, the same truth the farmer embraces: I couldn’t control everything. Trying to force specific outcomes was not only futile, but it was also draining my energy and hindering my well-being. So, I made a conscious decision to embrace acceptance.
Instead of clinging to the need to control every aspect of life, I decided to let go and trust the flow of life. I chose to focus on fulfilling my responsibilities with dedication, but without expecting immediate results or external validation. Instead of constantly trying to “fix” things, I shifted my focus inwards, continuing my journey of self-improvement and trusting the universe to guide me through the uncertainties.
Finding Peace in Acceptance and Moving Forward
This shift in perspective, inspired by the farmer’s story, has brought a sense of peace and clarity that I hadn’t experienced before. While I still can’t predict the future, I’m no longer fixated on trying to control it.Instead, I’m embracing the present moment, accepting whatever life throws my way, and focusing on what truly matters:
Continuous learning and self-improvement: Just like the farmer who constantly adapts and learns new approaches to cultivate the best crops, I believe in continuous learning and self-improvement. This journey is not about reaching a specific destination, but about constantly evolving and growing both personally and professionally.
Fulfilling my responsibilities with dedication: Whether it’s work, family, or personal commitments, I strive to give my best effort and fulfill my responsibilities with integrity and dedication. Just like the farmer who puts their heart and soul into tending to their crops, I aim to dedicate myself to the tasks and responsibilities at hand.
Letting go of expectations: By accepting what we cannot control and letting go of the need to manipulate outcomes, we can find a sense of peace and freedom. This doesn’t mean not setting goals or striving for progress, but rather letting go of the attachment to specific results and embracing the journey with open arms.
While my experience is unique, the lessons learned are universal. Life will always throw us unexpected twists, but by accepting what we cannot control and focusing on what truly matters, we can cultivate resilience, find inner peace, and ultimately, navigate life’s uncertainties with greater focus and clarity.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We all face challenges and uncertainties. By sharing our experiences and adopting the strategies discussed, we can equip ourselves to navigate life’s uncertainties with a farmer’s spirit of acceptance, dedication, and trust.
Have you ever felt like a lone listener in a one-person show, or perhaps the sole voice in a deafening silence? We’ve all been there, navigating the sometimes tricky terrain of conversation. While expressing ourselves is important, true connection and growth often blossom through the art of listening.
This blog post delves into the power of active listening and why prioritizing it can unlock immense value in our interactions. But that’s not all. We’ll also understand the importance of balanced participation, ensuring our conversations are enriching and engaging for everyone involved. We’ll understand the power of listening and why prioritizing it can unlock immense value in our interactions. We’ll also delve into the importance of finding the sweet spot between listening and speaking, ensuring that our conversations are enriching and engaging for everyone involved.
The Chatterbox and the Silent Listener: Why Conversations Need Balance
Have you ever been stuck in a conversation where one person seems to be doing all the talking, while you barely get a word? It feels like they’re on a one-person show, and you’re just the audience. Sounds awkward.
On the other hand, have you ever been in a situation where the other person is completely silent, almost like they’re invisible? You share your thoughts and experiences, but there’s no response, no feedback, just… silence. It can be just as frustrating as being talked over.
The truth is, good conversations are a two-way street. They thrive on a balance between listening and speaking, where both participants feel heard and valued. While active listening is crucial for understanding and connection, a conversation also needs balanced participation to be truly fulfilling.
Think of it like a see-saw. If one person is sitting way out on one end, the other person is left hanging in the air. But when both people sit near the center, the seesaw balances perfectly, allowing for a smooth and enjoyable ride.
“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation.” – Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
While listening attentively is essential, it’s also important to remember that silence can hold immense power in communication. It allows us to process information, reflect on what’s being said, and formulate thoughtful responses.
Remember, communication is a beautiful dance, and when we learn to listen actively and participate thoughtfully, we create a symphony of understanding and connection.
The Magic of Listening: Unlocking the Secrets of Deeper Connection
Imagine yourself sitting across from a friend, they begin to share a story, their voice filled with excitement and vulnerability. You lean in, captivated by their words, your full attention focused on their every utterance. You nod in understanding, ask clarifying questions, and offer words of encouragement.
This is the essence of active listening. It’s not just about passively hearing words; it’s about actively engaging with the speaker, demonstrating your genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
Here’s why active listening is such a superpower in the world of communication:
Deeper understanding: By truly listening, you absorb the nuances of what the other person is saying, allowing you to grasp their perspective and gain a deeper understanding of their experiences. It’s like putting on a pair of special empathy glasses, allowing you to see the world through their eyes.
Uncovering hidden gems: Often, the most valuable insights and perspectives lie beneath the surface, waiting to be unearthed through attentive listening. By creating a safe space for your friend to share openly, you might discover hidden talents, unique experiences, or even profound wisdom you never knew existed.
Building stronger connections: Listening demonstrates respect, interest, and empathy, fostering trust and connection with the speaker. It shows them that you value their voice and their presence, strengthening the bond between you.
Think of Nelson Mandela famously said, “If you listen to people, you can understand them. If you understand them, you can deal with them. If you deal with them, you can find peace.”
Active listening isn’t just a feel-good practice; it’s a powerful tool for building meaningful relationships and creating a more peaceful and understanding world.
But remember, listening isn’t a passive activity. It requires effort, focus, and a genuine desire to connect with the speaker. Here are some actionable tips to help you become a better listener:
Minimize distractions: Put away your phone, silence notifications, and find a quiet space to converse.
Maintain eye contact: This shows the speaker that you’re fully engaged and present in the moment.
Use nonverbal cues: Nodding, smiling, and leaning in demonstrate your interest and encouragement.
Ask clarifying questions: This shows you’re paying attention and helps you gain a deeper understanding of what’s being said.
Avoid interrupting: Give the speaker the space to fully express themselves before sharing your own thoughts.
By incorporating these tips into your conversations, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a master listener, unlocking a world of deeper connections, and enriching your interactions with the people around you.
Finding the Sweet Spot: The Art of Balanced Conversation
We’ve established the magic of listening and its power to unlock deeper connections. But remember the seesaw analogy from earlier? While listening is crucial, a conversation also needs balanced participation from both parties to truly flourish.
Imagine this scenario: you’re having a conversation with someone who seems to be a human jukebox, constantly playing their own tunes without a single pause for breath. You feel unheard, invisible, and frankly, quite frustrated. This one-sided conversation, dominated by a single voice, can leave the listener feeling disengaged and undervalued.
On the other hand, have you ever encountered someone who remains completely silent throughout the conversation? You share your thoughts and experiences, but there’s no response, no feedback, just… crickets. This lack of participation can be equally damaging, leaving you feeling like you’re talking to a brick wall.
So, how do we find the sweet spot between listening and speaking? Here are some key considerations:
Be mindful of verbal cues: Pay attention to the natural flow of the conversation. If you find yourself dominating the airwaves, take a step back and invite the other person to share their thoughts.
Ask open-ended questions: This encourages the other person to elaborate on their ideas and experiences, fostering a more engaging conversation.
Actively listen and respond: Pay close attention to what the other person is saying, and then offer thoughtful responses that demonstrate your understanding and engagement.
Be mindful of nonverbal cues: Watch for body language and facial expressions that might indicate the other person wants to speak or needs more time to process information.
Remember, the goal is not to keep score of who speaks more or who listens more. It’s about creating a space where both voices can be heard and valued, fostering a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
“We are social creatures. We need to feel connected, to feel a sense of belonging. And one of the ways we connect is through conversation.” By embracing active listening and balanced participation, we can transform our conversations from one-sided monologues into beautiful symphonies of connection, understanding, and shared experiences.
So, the next time you engage in a conversation, remember the power of listening, the importance of balance, and the joy of creating meaningful connections through the art of communication.
Ever feel like your brain is a hamster on a spinning wheel, going a million miles an hour but getting nowhere? It happens with everyone. It’s like juggling a million balls in the air – work stuff, family stuff, that catchy song stuck in your head – and you’re starting to drop them one by one.
Here’s the thing: our brains aren’t magic supercomputers. They can only handle so much at once, just like how your phone battery eventually dies. I call this our mental bandwidth, like a suitcase carrying the clothes and accessories, representing of our thoughts, feelings, and to-do lists. The bigger the suitcase, the more stuff it can handle without overflowing. But sometimes, life throws in extra clothes, and boom – overflow!
In this post, I’m not just going to say to chill. I’ll be sharing a framework I use to understand and manage my own mental bandwidth, even when my brain feels like it’s playing kabaddi. So, let’s understand how our mental suitcase are packed!
The Suitcase Packing: Trying to Fit All
Think of your brain like a suitcase overflowing with clothes while going for a trip. Consider that suitcase is your entire mental bandwidth, carrying all your thoughts, feelings, and to-do lists. Just like different items take up space in your suitcase, some things in your mental “suitcase” demand more attention than others.
Now imagine a huge work project assignment as a laptop you have to pack just because your manager said so, even though you know you won’t use it while on the trip. It takes up significant amount of space and worry, leaving less room for smaller things like a watch or sunglasses. Maybe there’s even a fancy hat representing any song or tune you keep thinking about throughout the day.
This suitcase metaphor might look silly, but it helps explain why we sometimes feel overwhelmed. It’s like trying to cram everything from your room into a tiny backpack – things just don’t fit!
Not all things in your mental suitcase are created equal! Some, like that useless laptop on trip take up way more space than others. This leaves less room for the fun stuff, like planning those special gifts for friends, something like a photo frame.
That’s why balance is key. While everyone packs their suitcase differently, we all get stressed when it’s bursting at the top. Imagine trying to shove in that a special photo frame and all your clothes – chaos!
The good news is, even with a limited suitcase (or mental bandwidth), we still manage what we bring some way or the other.
The Shrunken Suitcase: When Depression Strikes
To understand this, imagine now that someone wrapped your suitcase tightly in a wrap, squeezing it down to half its size. That’s what depression can feel like to your mental bandwidth.
Whether it’s triggered by a chemical imbalance, grief, or something else entirely, depression shrinks your overall mental capacity. Suddenly, even simple tasks like folding a t-shirt feel like trying to shove everything back into that tiny suitcase we mentioned before. It can become too much!
This explains why even basic things can feel overwhelming during difficult times. It’s not that you’re lazy or incapable, it’s that your “suitcase” is literally smaller, leaving less space for everything you need to carry. Remember that song or tune? Forget it – there’s barely room for the essentials in suitcase!
But here’s the important thing: even with a shrunk suitcase, there are still ways to manage.
Let’s explore some practical tips and tricks to help you “pack light” and navigate life’s challenges when depression tries to shrink your world.
Beyond the Suitcase: Unpacking Your Mental Bandwidth
This post isn’t about magically making our suitcase bigger. Instead, it’s about understanding how we pack it and using our limited space wisely. That’s where the concept of “mental bandwidth” comes in.
Think of mental bandwidth as the energy we have for thinking, feeling, and doing. It’s not always a constant amount, and some things demand more space than others, just like packing the suitcase. Here’s how we can use this framework:
Identify the Space Hogs: Just like that laptop, some activities or emotions gobble up a ton of mental space. Are you constantly worrying about work deadlines? Does social media drain your energy? Recognizing these “bandwidth hogs” is the first step to managing them. Maybe you can set work boundaries, limit social media time, or delegate some tasks. Remember, you don’t have to fit everything in!
Schedule Mental Recharge Breaks: Just like your phone needs charging, so does your brain! Building in time for relaxation, hobbies, and activities that refuel your energy is crucial. Think of it as packing in some “mental snacks” – meditation, a nature walk, or even just reading a good book. Taking these breaks doesn’t make you lazy, it makes you strategic!
Delegate and Downsize: Remember trying to cram everything into your backpack? It didn’t work! The same goes for your mental space. Can you delegate some tasks to others? Break down big projects into smaller, more manageable chunks? Remember, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a smart way to pack efficiently!
By understanding your mental bandwidth limitations, you can make conscious choices about how you spend your precious cognitive energy. It’s not about fitting everything in, it’s about packing strategically for a balanced and fulfilling life. Remember, a happy, healthy, and productive you starts with understanding your own unique suitcase!
Hey there! Feeling like you’re checking all the boxes but still missing that spark of true fulfilment? You’re not alone. We all chase goals, tick things off lists, but sometimes happiness feels like it’s playing hide-and-seek.
But what if there’s a secret key hidden in plain sight? Only Three simple yet powerful questions that unlock the door to your deepest desires and what truly matters to you? We often forget to stop from daily race and actually ask ourselves what a good life even means, let alone how to achieve it.
So, with this blog I want to share with you a way to ditch the confusion and embark on a journey of self-discovery? Get ready, because these questions might just change your perspective…
The Idea of ‘3 Most important Questions to ask yourself’ is by Vishen Lakhiani. Vishen is a Malaysian-Indian entrepreneur, author, and speaker. He is the founder and CEO of Mindvalley.
It’s about and year that I have stumbled upon his idea. His simple, but not simple, questions stuck with me ever since. Back then, they were the right questions at the right moment. Now, I still use them.
Ditch the “Shoulds”, Discover Your Why: A Guide to Meaningful Goals
Deep down, we all crave happiness, right? Like, the kind that makes your soul sing, not just the temporary “woohoo” from checking things off a list. But here’s the thing: most of us get stuck chasing “shoulds” instead of “wishes”.
These “shoulds” are like these annoying rules society shoves down our throats: get a good degree, land a high-paying job, buy the fancy car, the big house… the list goes on. We tick boxes, climb ladders, but that nagging feeling of emptiness just won’t budge.
Why? Because those are Means goals and they are just stepping stones, not the final destination. They’re means goals, not end goals.
End goals are about what truly matters: love, joy, making a difference. They’re the long-term vision, the unique map to your best life, unfolding as beautifully as your life journey itself. Think of it like this:
Means goals:
Get a fancy degree (because “that’s what you’re supposed to do”)
Make a ton of money (because “that means success sas per society”)
Buy a flashy car (because “it shows to the world that you’ve made it”)
End goals:
Use your skills to help others and feel fulfilled (not just have a fancy piece of paper)
Live comfortably and have financial security (enough to enjoy experiences, not just chase numbers)
Have the freedom to travel and connect with loved ones (because that sparks true joy, not just a shiny object)
See the difference? It’s about shifting your focus from the “shoulds” to the “whys”. What truly makes you and your loved ones happy? What experiences light you up? What impact do you want to leave on the world?
Those are the questions that lead you to your end goals. And guess what? You don’t need a magic formula or a fancy life coach to find them. Just grab a pen and paper, and get ready for some self-discovery!
Now let’s explore three powerful questions that can unlock your true desires and guide you towards setting goals that truly matter. So, are you ready to ditch the “shoulds” and discover your “why”? Let’s go!
3 Questions that changes Everything
Ever feel like you’re just… existing, not truly living? Like something’s missing, some spark that makes your soul do a happy dance? We all do sometimes. But here’s the good news: finding that spark isn’t some mystical quest. It’s about tapping into your deepest desires and aligning your life with what truly matters to YOU.
Think of it like this: we all have these basic needs, like growing, learning, and making a difference. But how we fulfill those needs? That’s where it gets personal. It’s like dividing your life into three giant buckets: experiences, growth, and contribution.
And to unlock the secret sauce to a life that rocks, all you gotta do is ask yourself three simple questions:
What experiences make your heart sing? Imagine adventures that make you giddy, connections that leave you buzzing, moments that paint your world in Technicolor. Write ’em down, no matter how crazy they seem!
How do you wanna grow as a person? Think skills you crave, knowledge you thirst for, ways you wanna become the best version of yourself. Maybe it’s mastering that language, writing that novel, or becoming a meditation guru. Let your inner rockstar shine!
How can you leave your mark on the world? What causes light you up? What legacy do you want to leave behind? From volunteering to creating art, there’s a million ways to make a difference, big or small. Find yours!
The best part? There are no wrong answers. Take 90 seconds for each question, let your pen fly, and don’t overthink it. Trust your gut, because that’s where the real magic lies. Remember, this is about YOU, your dreams, your unique contribution to this crazy, beautiful world. So go big, dream wild, and unleash the rockstar within!
Here’s what you can ask yourself. Feel free to answer your own questions coming during these exercises.
1. What do you want to experience?
Write down everything that you could dream of doing or having that would make you feel happy:
Think about any experience that you wish to have in this lifetime.
Consider your love life, your relationships, and your sexuality.
Think about what experiences you’d like to have with your friends and family.
What would you like your social life to look like?
Assume you have unlimited access to funds. What type of car would you want to drive?
What type of home would you want to live in? Are there any other things you dream of having in your life?
What places do you want to travel to?
What activities, hobbies, or sports would you love to explore?
2. How do you want to grow?
Jot down anything you’d like to develop in your life:
How would you like to develop yourself? Think about your intellectual life, for instance.
What skills would you like to obtain?
How do you want to deal with stressful events in your life?
What languages would you want to master?
What character traits do you admire in others, and which would you like to master?
How do you want to show up in social situations?
What are your health and fitness goals?
How long would you like to live?
How would you like to feel, and what would you like to be able to do in your old age?
Is there a particular aspect of your spiritual life that you’d like to dive deeper into?
3. How do you want to contribute?
No matter how shitty your life might be, giving back is one of the surest ways to happiness. Think about all the various ways you want to contribute to the world. No matter how big or small your ideas, write down everything that comes to you:
How could you contribute to your family, friends, society, city, or even the entire planet?
What will be your legacy?
How will you make the world a slightly better place?
Which problem would you like to solve for the planet and humanity? It could be volunteering or giving your time to specific people. It could be a particular work you’d like to create. Anything you can think of that would benefit others and our world.
Now that you have a deeper understanding of the 3 Most Important Questions framework, it is time to do the exercise yourself. So grab a notebook and a pen, sit back, and let yourself be guided by Mindvalley Founder, Vishen in below video for this powerful goal-setting exercise. Buckle up and break down each question and get you started on your self-discovery adventure and make your life a masterpiece, one answer at a time!
My 3 MIQs –
1. What do I want to experience?
– Live my Life with Family in a Beautiful Home – Experience Travelling in Beautiful Cities across World – Play Beautiful Piano Music in Nature – Talking in a TV / Video Discussion – Author of a Bestseller Self-Help Book – Wear Own Brand of Clothes – Grow Kids into Best Person in World – Spend each moment in Love with Special One – Drive Thar to Best Places in India – Visit Best Vegan Place / Farm of World – Have Great Physical Health and Intimate Life with Partner – Get a Role in Mindvalley or similar Organisation – Own a Home in Amanora (Township in my City)
2. How do I want to grow?
– Get Deep into Meditation, Manifesting and Creative Visualisation Practices – Learn and implement multiple sources of income – Learn Playing Piano & about Music – Learn about Public Speaking with the Best & Most Effective Manner – Learn about Book/Article Writing Principles – Fiction, Non Fiction, Personal Growth, Self Help, etc – Get more deep into Creative & Design Elements Learning – Learn to Control Bad Habits – Be the Best Partner, Parent, Child, Manager, Leader and an all round person – Learn to drive Car in all situations – Learn to cook best food – Learn more about fitness, meditation, health & wellness – Get more expertise into Technology, Management, Leadership and Head a Technology Department
3. How do I want to contribute?
– Create knowledgeable, fun & easy to learn content over internet for people to grow – Grow my website to help people establish their business online and expand reach – Grow my Team Members into Best Resources – Help all people around in whichever area they are stuck – Donate a portion of my side hustle earnings into charity – Spend time in Serving in temples or any other religious institutions and NGOs – Be Always there for People I Love – Organise Public Events for sharing knowledge and Best Practices across multiple areas – Create Platform for Free and Easy Learning – Create Soothing Music that helps people – Organise self cooked Lunch for People in need
If you read this and are able to help me achieve anything from above, feel free to give a shout. I’ll be really grateful for all your support. And you are all free to reach out to me if you feel I can contribute in achieving your goals.
How do we actually stop scrolling, swiping, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat, etc, which takes 2-3 hours of our day?
The funny thing about this blog is that only around 5% of the you reading this will look through the whole text. That’s because the people who clicked this link to this are the ones that need this advice the most.
If I was like most people in this space who give lifehacks, I would give you the top five tricks to never scroll again and I would write this in really witty and entertaining way with some jargons, jokes, interesting facts, life lessons etc etc etc. and you would leave feeling really motivated.
And I would really think that you would have stopped scrolling.
But in fact you would actually switch your browser tab or switch to another application being more addicted and even more drawn to your phone because this blog would just further solidify your social media addiction.
However if you are in it for some 5 tips or 7 hacks or daily routine, you are going to get really disappointed, since this is not that type of blog or content.
Quick instruction, even this blog is for stopping scrolling, you are allowed to scroll to the next part, but only in this blog, not outside of it.
I hope you are very well aware of the fact that scrolling shortens our attention span. It’s the core issue why we can’t sit down to be focused and productive. The reason we find reading or working boring is probably not because the book or blog you’re reading is bad (including this one 😀 ) or the work we’re doing is boring it’s because we have short attention span so we can’t focus hard enough on the task at hand. We want to stop scrolling most likely because we have something more more important that we want to get done. We want to be more focused when studying or working on our office tasks and there’s actually only one thing that we need to do to help us become more focused and that thing is – Increase our attention span.
So how do we actually increase our attention span?
Attention span is like a muscle and similar to how we train our biceps to become bigger and stronger through repeatedly training it, we can do exactly the same thing with our attention. The answer is Meditation.
Every time we meditate we go to the mental gym and we do some bicep curls for our attention span.
This blog too is meant to serve you as an exercise just like meditation that will help you increase your attention span.
Till you reach the end, you would have done many bicep curls for your brain.
So sincere request is don’t do something else while reading this till the last line. I know I’m asking you to do something impossible and which is going to take lot of your efforts by doing nothing and just reading this. But trust me, you’ll feel very different in just next 5 minutes. Don’t switch tabs, don’t switch app, don’t directly scroll down to see the end and don’t only go through the highlighted text.
Just focus all your attention on the current word, read and move to next one.
Your brain will try to tell you that you need to be somewhere else, you need to watch some other video, see friend’s Facebook or Instagram post or watch other series or chat with a friend or see the notifications that just came.
I understand you need to do other things but don’t listen to your brain for few minutes. For next 5 minutes you don’t need to be anywhere else than right here. Keep this in mind while reading rest of the blog.
Carefully observe that your brain is telling you to close this and switch to other thing, but you stay here and read further.
Anyway you have already done a few bicep curls for your attention span and your focus would have definately improved, event if it by few seconds but it has.
You clicked this link to regain your attention and this is how the people click any such link to watch or read something more stimulating. So basically admit that you didn’t want to train you attention, which is okay, except it makes you somewhat hypocrites because you clicked on a link mentioning how to stop scrolling because you wanted to become more focused and click somewhere else to watch or read something more stimulating. So don’t be that type of person.
More brain curls. You completed Level 1. Cheers. You are doing amazing.
Now let’s get more serious. There’s one thing that we can do every day for just a few minutes after we’ve woken up that will drastically increase our attention span and as a result will make us more focused individuals. That is meditation. Let’s do while you are reading this.
Sit down comfortably wherever you are and redirect your focus inwards. Try to have no distractions. If you are in public place or with friends or family members, for few minutes try to shift focus entirely here in reading this.
Now, just focus on your breath. Focus on Inhale. Focus on Exhale. This is without a doubt the exercise everyone needs the most. We are now going to actually test this for the next couple of minutes.
Just focus on your breath. Focus on Inhale. Focus on Exhale. I will give you counter for guidance.
Let’s consider from here on, whichever number you see, read it in span of 1 second.
As you read 1..2..3..4.. you Inhale. That is 4 seconds. As you read 4..3..2..1.. you exhale. That is 4 seconds.
And this has to do be done 10 times. Honestly please. If you cheat, you are cheating yourself 😀
Remember – Focus on breath, counter and don’t skip any lines.
Let’s start.
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Don’t Scroll…
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Read and Follow
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Few More…
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Come on… You can do it.
Inhale 1..2..3..4.. Exhale 4..3..2..1..
Great job.
You have just done many more bicep curls for your brain which has improved your attention span a little bit further.
Level 2 Done. Cheers.
I remember when I tested it around 3 years ago, I felt kind of weird about it because I thought that it was just things that only monks or yogis did and at first I didn’t really get it. Then when I understood the benefits of it and I saw why it actually would help me make more progress towards being focused and productive. I started doing it daily for just 3 minutes at first. It was really hard. Many thoughts would come up and I would get diverted easily. But then quickly as I did it more and more I became better at it. I started to increase the time from 3 minutes to 5 minutes and then from 5 minutes to 10 minutes and now even 20-30 minutes, where I just sit in my room with no stimulation, no music, nothing, except just me focusing on my breath. And as a result it has helped me make huge progress in becoming mindful and conscious, as now I’m able to actually sit down and work which before I meditated was completely impossible.
I know I may have exaggerated benefits of meditation but those are just some things that are making your brain stronger and stronger. So make the conscious decision right now, to not listen to any other thoughts and let them just pass by in same way you have let other calls, notifications, distraction pass by (only if you have reached till here 😀 ). I highly recommend that you do this first thing in the morning and you only have to do it for 3 minutes in beginning to start seeing a difference in your focus. Don’t listen to your brain telling you all the reasons why you can’t, it’s weird, it’s cringe or any other thoughts that you might be getting now. It’s not weird and cringe to focus on improving yourself. It’s necessary because this is the step in the right direction that will take you closer towards your goal of getting focused, getting productive, students for better grades or people who want to work a lot and make more money.
Try this experiment from the very next day you read this. Just meditate for 3 minutes every morning and I can surely guarantee you that you will see significant improvement in your focus.
Great job you’ve now finished Level 3 of this little exercise. Cheers.
Your mind may have wandered away thinking about something else throughout this reading, you might have got some notifications, someone around might have called you. But if you’ve stayed till here, or maybe you think that you haven’t done this in the right way or you’ve done something wrong while reading through it, you haven’t.
Trust me, whatever you thought about during this reading doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve stayed throughout the last sentence and you’ve followed through all the conditions asked in the beginning. And that’s what matters.
